The Porn and Relationships Discussion

The Porn and Relationships Discussion

Mrs. Loud and I discuss porn and relationships several years ago and I ran across the audio file recently.  I decided to give it a listen which led me to feel like it stood the test of time.  I say it stood the test of time because the Mrs. and I still believe our opinions and viewpoints are primarily the same.

I present it here just for discussion and something to GetRight to.  We have a poll for this podcast, and we welcome anyone that hears it to chime in and tell us their opinion about the discussion.  Please share it for the conversation starter we believe it to be.

Transcription:

am I am so my question to you is like this is her boyfriend this is her
boyfriend so my question is to you is like okay okay let me go let me go back
so the woman has the issue with her boyfriend of three years looking at
porn or looking at booty on Instagram so my friend porn in Instagram like he’s
looking at porn or Instagram no like that he looking at it so and my friend a few
days ago asked me how I felt about if my if I don’t see my husband you know
looking at but booty on Instagram which I mean like I said to her before the
old me I will be a little insecure about that I would I would have been a lot
insecure about it I would have lashed out at him about it I would have you know
you know just been you’re bitchy about it or upset but now learning how to love
me and learning how guys are you know what I’m saying I’m like okay I need to
lighten up on me not only for me for the benefit of me and the best of me but
for this relationship you know what I’m saying and my question was to you is
because I don’t want to make it seem like do you allow this in your you
I wanted to see, oh God, how can I put in words?
It’s not even a lie.
How do you feel?
How do you feel?
How do you feel about your significant other?
How would your reaction be if you found out
your significant other looked at porn or, you know,
boo your Instagram, you know, how would you react?
How would I?
That’s the question I want to ask.
Like I mean, you, you, you, you, you, you know, I’m trying to figure out how to
answer the question, like, how would I feel about them doing it?
Or how would I feel about them, their reaction to me doing it?
Like, like, really, we, you know, everybody’s self-centered.
So, okay, you may take it one way as a female.
Mm-hmm, because of their confidence.
You know, catching young, doing whatever.
You know, like, you may feel a certain kind of way, but being a dude,
all I can think about it is how you react to it, like, if I’m the one.
So, thinking about it like that, if I’m the one that’s doing it,
and you the one that catches me and you have a, you feel some kind of way about it,
then I’m thinking, okay.
Well, to me it’s like, that’s what men do all the time, all the time.
Whether you around the night, we curious like that by ass, like, it ain’t no, it ain’t no, it ain’t no new, new thing.
You know what I’m saying? If she met that dude, he was doing the same thing.
He was doing it when he met him before it ain’t going to stop him.
You know what I’m saying? He’s going to stop looking at ass because he’s got it somewhere like that.
A wife, whatever. He’s not going to stop. That was in his nature.
But she told him, like he told her, like in the post, he said he told her, you know, that, you know, it’s a matter of control.
It’s just naked pictures. It’s just something, you know.
It’s a matter of control. But to me, he told her he loved her.
You know what I’m saying? He told her he loved her and he said, you know, it’s just…
You don’t have nothing to do with him looking at ass.
But the thing is like, okay, let’s like get to the y’all thing because it’s all over because all women, all women, all women’s not like that.
A lot of women understand. A lot of women understand.
It made me a lot of women understand. That’s why some guys gravitate to them.
The reason the subject is taboo, even talking about it, is because of the magnitude of the people.
Me and everyone who don’t understand, they do this doing something natural.
Okay. You know what I’m saying? The fact that people think something wrong about that is that to me, you make me deal with your…
Confidence. It was hard. I got the deal with it because…
You can’t cut off how you feel for me being… It’s like a sword.
If I like looking at porn, you know, I like looking at porn.
The only thing you can do is give me some kind of feeling about it that either adds to it in a positive way or anything.
It’s like baby, that is good on that.
It’s like baby, that is good on that.
So you want me to mess that in?
That’s the way of coming at it and being like…
Right. So, my thing is…
Okay. So, you helped me with the question. Thank you.
Okay. Go ahead.
And do you wonder why this is…
Let me go ahead and go in.
X, I just ordered it.
okay the dude chilling i mean you catch him beating off to some some ass you know video whatever
you know what i’m saying but what if he’s beating off to another day
what i’m saying you catch him doing that
Well, I’d be a pain in the ass, you know what I’m saying, on top of that, like, you caught me doing it.
I know you feel some kind of way, but I’m doing it ’cause that’s something I don’t know.
Yeah. I want to do. You can’t do nothing, you know, some other nerves.
If you get known them by something they want to do, they ain’t got no prime doing it,
but you trying to make it a problem with your attitude or philosophy about it or whatever, man, that, that, it’s shhh.
I don’t, I don’t know what’s in the fact we want to do that.
Right.
I’m just thinking like, okay, if you a woman, you should know that kind of thing.
You ain’t gonna patrol whether a man has desire for, for, for visual.
Say, you ain’t, you can’t control that, trying to control that, is you trying to control his inner being, and then something you can’t do.
Right. You can’t control somebody’s inner being. Mother, look at that, because he can’t help it.
Is what he’s drawn to from a deep inner being point of view. You know what I’m saying?
You can’t shoot me. You can’t not look at that, and if it’s available, you’re gonna seek it out and look at it.
No.
Why is the mother gonna restrict herself from doing it?
Just to please somebody who’s insecure about them doing it.
Yeah. And then there’s, you know, he’s a whole different thing. Yeah, I ain’t get deal with the mother for the attitude on some mother shit.
Damn, I’m, he walk around fucked up because he can’t look at some porn, you know what I’m saying?
Like, he wasn’t what he made about late on, like.
But they’re just saying the dude is like an addict or whatever, but like, we’re saying, you know, this is like all kinds of-
I’m saying somebody can’t go war with what’s up.
Yeah, some people can, but you know.
Indulgence is one thing, but don’t, don’t be in it to the point where that’s all you’re doing all the time and have something.
No, he do all day is look at ass.
Yeah. Don’t go in like that.
You know, and she didn’t even say that. You know, that’s all like these people are going in.
I think I should back off that. My comments, like, you know, there’s a limit to how much you can enjoy looking at that.
It’s got to be some kind of living. Everything in moderation. Yeah. Everything in moderation.
But you know, most of the women are encouraging on here and stuff like that, so it was, you know, but the going in is just like crazy.
Yeah, but the beat somebody else down and tell somebody else what they won’t take from they man.
But this one woman, she put up an article about, you know, you know, couples and where’s that? I just had a fact.
I wanted to share it with you.
Okay, I’m a shared with you, but I just read up.
Go ahead, go ahead.
People give each other advice and tell them how to respond to something.
You deal with this person on the one-on-one basis, not your everybody.
You dealing with someone on a one-on-one basis. Can’t nobody tell you how to hear to react to something from that other person.
There might be some things that, you know, kind of soon say, yeah, that ain’t a good idea.
But when it’s a one-on-one thing, only due to people know each other well enough, you know, to know where to go with the relationship.
Outside is, you know, trying to tell you, I wouldn’t take that.
You know, you keep coming. You don’t know the whole story of dealing with the person.
You don’t know that motherfucker, whoever it is.
So I’m a motherfucker?
No, I’m saying whoever it is from the past.
I’m a motherfucker.
You lashing it on me?
Yeah, you don’t know what that woman then put up with from that motherfucker.
That’s true.
That’s true.
That’s true.
What to do and what not to do.
You don’t know what the hell they fuck.
You know, what they go through on every day?
She.
You know, people give out that advice.
I was like, man, just be happy.
If you can figure out a way to that, you all right.
but that’s it. That is quite interesting. I’m of opinion. I ain’t gonna do certain things.
So that was like just one of my shit. I lost a damn thought. You kept talking. Fuck! You!
Ah! The question was for the beat. I had to shut up because I let you talk.
Like right now. And, damn it, you’re still. I work, you caught me today working on a post on twerking.
And I like looking at twerking videos from time to time. So I’m like, I gotta incorporate that into the site.
By the way, I gotta incorporate it. You know I do it. I do all this other stuff, music, where I listen to.
I look at twerking videos. I know I watch porn too. You know.
I know you watch porn. We watch porn together.
If I could get some of those elements into it because other people do the same thing.
I’m gonna try to get them in there. I forgot to say class in a way to incorporate a full experience of life on the site.
So everybody can feel that. I ain’t the only one like looking at twerking. I ain’t the only one like looking at local.
You know, because you ain’t the only one. No. You’re not. No.
But people got to give other people the freedom to do something that they don’t have to understand why they do it.
You know what I’m saying? To me, she don’t have to understand why he likes to look at twerking.
And then her job doesn’t understand that. He could try to explain it all he won’t.
But it’s her. It’s her. But it’s her confidence within herself and how she feels about herself.
And that’s what most women were saying. You know, love yourself that a lot.
But the ones that were like talking about just, he’s a porn addict.
And they put up like so many links of porn addicts. So it was just one link.
That might mean a lot of people dealing with porn.
Yeah, it is. But I don’t think it’s that.
I really don’t. I really don’t.
You know, I think it’s like, you know, she ran across somebody.
I think it’s like, when I run across my cousin, like looking at porn, I’m like,
“Ew, you look at porn.” Like, that’s disgusting. You know, that was like when I was young.
And like, girl, you better get out of here. So it’s probably like, she sounds like she’s young.
So, you know, I don’t know. It’s a young relationship.
So, but like you said, everybody’s. Yeah, and she was raised in that kind of
atmosphere where doing stuff like that is wrong or immoral or whatever.
And, you know, she got it now. She got the viewpoint. And she probably know how to handle it.
Right. Right. But I mean, but it also means she has a pre-disposed position on it.
Yeah, because she already has a feeling about it.
Yeah, because when she first found it, you know, she addressed it.
She said she addressed it and he, you know, it was like, I, you know, but she addressed it.
How did she address it? Like, I don’t like you doing it. I don’t want you to do it no more.
I don’t know. And that was like, she had to address it.
They call this a corrector somebody.
And you ain’t going to correct nobody from watching ads.
How you going to correct motherfucker from watching ads?
I don’t want ads.
You’re going to do it. I don’t know how mother’s better to do that with their emotional,
what you call it, their emotional, um,
Emotional risk, you know, people can use their emotional side to their…
And peed on I said, you know the freedom of other people it’s like I’m gonna feel sad if you do what you’re doing
You know, I’m gonna I’m gonna mope. I’m gonna
I’m gonna I’m gonna walk around here and be miserable or whatever because you’re doing whatever you do
So that’s the emotional like control
Like if I say I ain’t gonna start watching porn and shit
You got deal with it
Somebody got deal with it. So he he gonna have to deal with her emotional response
Constantly which most mother would be like fuck it man. I’d rather not even look at the shit if I can’t damn
So
what that means said
I’m trying to work this question from this
Let’s see what other people get right. So I want to do the poll the poll right? That’s what that’s my first
What is the poll?
The poll is how would you feel?
How would you react?
If you caught your significant other what?
Okay, so
react most people didn’t have it happen then and then through it already so
How would they say they would react?
Okay, I asked them how they did react at one time like you thought about
Okay, I react now with so so okay, okay, so okay, okay, okay, okay now. I got a
My god, that’s like dope. So yours is where is my where is it?
So you just saying okay. That’s the question
How would you react to your significant other watching porn?
Now how you reacted in the past and how you changed over time and what I just want to act just add like
Let me show you
Well, that’s that’s the question. Yeah, that’s basically the question. Yeah, yeah
What do what what are your response to the conversation?
Holler said Holler ever’s holler at us
That call in the way online about a lot of that time when you hear this podcast